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The Chronicles of Spanambula

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12 July 1976
Your results:
You are Wash (Ship Pilot)
Wash (Ship Pilot)
Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)
A Reaver (Cannibal)
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)
Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)
Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)
Derrial Book (Shepherd)
Inara Serra (Companion)
River (Stowaway)
You are a pilot with a good
if not silly sense of humor.
You take pride in your collection of toys.
You love your significant other.

Click here to take the Serenity Firefly Personality Test

"No matter how fast light travels, it always finds that darkness has gotten there first, and is waiting for it..."
- T. Pratchett, "Reaper Man"

"...this gray spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star..."
- Tennyson, "Ulysses"

"Civilised men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
- Robert E. Howard, "The Tower of the Elephant"

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User Number: 2675877
Date Created:2004-03-30
Number of Posts: 261

Spanambula is generally regarded of having all the appeal of a bowl of African Cockroaches, but none of the great taste. No one knows exactly where this curious creature originated, but they know all too well that he WON'T. FREAKIN'. LEAVE.
Strengths: Spanambula fakes many skills quite well, usually managing to fool others, and indeed, sometimes even himself, into believing him to be witty, intelligent, creative, and artistic.
Weaknesses: Spanambula is prone to vicious bouts of substance abuse, mostly revolving around french fries and doughnuts, though not necessarily in that order. Despite constant reassurances from multiple sources, he also harbors the fervent belief that all women are size queens. He is also a sucker for cats.
Special Skills: Spanambula possesses a 3rd-degree black belt in sleazy innuendo, a 2nd-degree black belt in biting sarcasm, and will test for his black belt in cynicism later this year. Spanambula has also been known to draw, on occasion.
Weapons: Spanambula has: Withering Glare; +5 Wedding Band of Hot Chick Repulsion. He can cast "Cloud of Marlboro Smokescreen" and "Summon Dire Incontinent Sheltie". With the aid of a CD player: "Sonic Assult" once per day for 4D8 damage and deafen hostiles within a 30 ft. radius for 3D6 rounds. Fortitude Saving negates deafness DC=15 + volume setting (Max 11).
In A Perfect World . . .: . . . we would be allowed to use a tazer on one person per month without fear of legal recourse.

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